Let’s Talk About the Ego
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In my last entry, I discussed how the first step in healing is cultivating awareness of how your past experiences have shaped your current perspective of yourself and the world around you (if you missed this entry, you can view it here).
Understanding how your perspective shows up in your patterns, behaviors, and choices allows you to begin shifting your belief system toward the life you deserve and desire, rather than one driven by fear and insecurity.
However, there is one major barrier to this awareness that must be addressed head-on: your ego.
The Role of the Ego
It’s important to note that your ego is not to be demonized. The ego’s primary goal is survival—to protect you. For example, it’s your ego that stops you from stepping in front of a bus. However, problems arise when you allow your ego to take control and make decisions that shape your entire life.
As you experience life, you begin to form an identity about yourself and your place in the world. This identity is your ego’s way of making sense of a chaotic world, acting as a coping mechanism designed to keep you safe. It tells you, “If you think like this, look like this, act this way, and make these decisions you will experience security.” But this narrative often prioritizes familiarity over authenticity and true growth, leaving you disconnected from what genuinely serves you.
The Ego’s Comfort Zone
Your ego doesn’t necessarily want what’s best for you—it wants what feels familiar and safe. The ego craves predictability and control, often clinging to patterns and behaviors that align with past experiences, even if those patterns are no longer serving your growth. Here’s the issue: if you’ve been accustomed to lack, struggle, or mistreatment, your ego will actually prefer to keep you in those situations. Why? Because it knows how to navigate them.
When you’ve survived in a particular environment or mindset for long enough, your ego will fight to stay there because it’s predictable and familiar. The ego doesn’t do this to harm you; it does this to keep you alive. What your ego doesn’t understand is that survival isn’t the only way—you can thrive.
How the Ego Shapes Your Choices
The ego’s narrative can show up as either an inflated or deflated sense of self, depending on circumstances and emotional triggers. It may appear as an inflated sense of self, driving someone to seek validation through paths that prioritize recognition or status over genuine alignment with their true passions and values. For instance, someone might chase promotions or accolades for the sake of external approval rather than personal fulfillment. Conversely, it can manifest as a deflated sense of self, convincing someone they are unworthy and leading them to settle for far less than they deserve—such as staying in unfulfilling relationships or jobs out of fear they cannot achieve more. Recognizing these tendencies helps you see how the ego clings to familiar patterns, not because they are good for you, but because they feel safe and predictable. Have you ever wondered if your choices are guided by fear or by your true desires? This awareness sets the stage for identifying the voice of the ego versus the voice of your soul.
Ego Resistance
When you begin the process of uncovering your limiting beliefs, your ego will resist. Changing how you think and believe means changing how you see yourself and exist in the world. For example, if your ego is accustomed to lack, pain, or suffering, it will fear the love, abundance, and freedom you crave because those things exist in the unknown. The ego hates the unknown. Yet, the life you dream of exists outside your comfort zone—in that very unknown.
I want to reiterate that your ego is not your enemy. Think of it as a well-intentioned friend who tries to keep you safe but often does so in ways that hinder your growth. The solution? Learn to identify the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs associated with your ego, so you can replace them with those of your soul.
Meditation as a Tool for Awareness
Meditation is a powerful tool for distinguishing the voice of your ego from the voice of your soul or intuition. By creating a safe space to observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment, meditation helps you step back and identify where your choices stem from—fear or alignment with your deeper self. This practice fosters clarity and self-awareness, allowing you to detach from ego-driven narratives and reconnect with your true essence.
Unlike simply escaping your thoughts and emotions, meditation encourages you to sit with them, observe them, and let them pass. This process creates room for you to recognize patterns and understand the influence of the ego on your life. While meditation is just one tool, the mindfulness it cultivates forms the foundation for many other healing and awareness practices, making it an invaluable starting point on your journey.
If you’re new to meditation, don’t worry. Like any meaningful practice, it takes time, commitment, and patience. A daily meditation routine is one of the first steps I recommend to my coaching clients because the awareness it builds becomes the groundwork for deeper healing and transformation.
It doesn’t have to be complicated. Start by setting a timer for 5 minutes and focus on your breathing. When your mind wanders (and it will), gently bring your attention back to your breath. Over time, work up to 10-15 minutes daily. Think of it as an exercise program for your mind; the results may not be immediate, but they are transformative.
Shifting Awareness
As I mentioned, meditation helps you shift from identifying with the ego’s projections to observing your experience with clarity. This process can be uncomfortable at times, as the awareness you cultivate may bring suppressed emotions to the surface. Feelings such as fear, shame, guilt, or insecurity are not signs of failure but invitations to heal. By working through them, you disrupt the cycles that the ego uses to maintain control.
Instead of identifying with these emotions, label them for what they are: temporary experiences. For example, if fear arises, try saying to yourself, 'This is fear arising,' rather than 'I am afraid.' This small but powerful shift creates space between you and the emotion, allowing you to observe it without judgment.
If these feelings become overwhelming, remember that seeking support from a licensed professional can be a valuable step. They can provide guidance and tools to help you navigate and process these emotions safely, ensuring your growth continues with support and care.
Moving Forward
As you begin to dismantle your ego’s grip, remember that healing is a process. Meditation and cultivating awareness are powerful first steps, but the journey requires patience, courage, and consistency. Remember, the ego is not inherently bad; it’s a natural part of the human psyche. The goal is not to eliminate it but to bring it into balance with your deeper self. The deeper you go, the more freeing and transformative it becomes.
You are not alone on this path. Take small, intentional steps—even a few minutes of daily mindfulness can create profound shifts. I’m here to support you every step of the way. Sending you an abundance of love and healing energy.
With love,
Gabrielle N.
P.S. Seats for my upcoming workshop, "Reclaiming Your Power to Manifest the Life You Desire," are filling up fast! This is your chance to start the year by breaking free from limiting beliefs and stepping into your full power. If this resonates with you, don’t wait—click here to grab your spot.
