You Will Never Be Perfect
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For as long as I can remember, I have been my own worst critic.
I notice my flaws before anyone else does. I overanalyze my mistakes. I replay conversations in my head, cringing at the things I should have said differently. I have spent so much of my life trying to fix myself because deep down, I believed that if I could just get better, I would finally be happy.
For years, I thought healing meant erasing the parts of me I did not like. I thought self-improvement was a straight path leading to some ideal version of myself. I imagined that if I just kept working on myself, I would become someone who was wise, strong, emotionally balanced, and free of all the struggles that made me feel unworthy.
But after years of trying to fix myself, I found myself right back where I started. I still felt unworthy, exhausted, and frustrated. No matter how much work I did, I never felt like I had arrived at the place I was supposed to be.
At some point, I had to face the truth: maybe perfection was never the goal at all.
The Illusion of Perfection
Healing and self-growth are often presented as a way to reach an end goal. We think that if we just work hard enough, we will arrive at a place where we no longer feel insecure, make mistakes, or struggle. But the truth is, that place does not exist.
Healing will not erase your humanity. No amount of self-work will make you immune to pain, self-doubt, or difficult seasons in life. Even the most enlightened, self-aware person does not have it all figured out.
I spent so much time chasing perfection, believing it would bring me peace, when in reality, it was the very thing keeping me stuck. The more I tried to eliminate my flaws, the more I reinforced the belief that I was not enough as I was.
That was when I finally understood something that changed everything.
Healing is not about becoming a perfect version of yourself. It is about learning to love yourself exactly as you are.
You Were Never Broken
The biggest misconception about healing is that it is supposed to fix you. Many people believe that if they read enough books, meditate enough, or do enough inner work, they will finally become worthy.
But the truth is, you were never broken to begin with.
Healing does not make you lovable. You have always been lovable.
Growth does not make you worthy. You have always been worthy.
Self-improvement does not make you whole. You have always been whole.
Healing is not about changing who you are. It is about peeling back the layers of self-doubt, shame, and fear that made you believe you were not enough in the first place.
You Are Supposed to Make Mistakes
Yes, you will mess up. Yes, you will struggle. Yes, you will have moments when you wish you had handled things differently.
That is part of being human.
We are not meant to be perfect. We are meant to grow. And growth is messy. It comes with failure, discomfort, and moments of uncertainty. The goal is not to avoid these experiences. It is to learn how to meet yourself with compassion when they happen.
The Only Thing You Have to Do
So, take a deep breath, drop your shoulders, and remind yourself that you are doing the best you can.
Your only job is to show up for yourself with love. Keep growing and keep learning, but do not forget to appreciate the version of yourself that exists right now.
You will never be perfect, but you don’t need to be.
Because this version of you, the one who still struggles, still makes mistakes, and still feels like they do not have it all figured out, is already enough.
And it always has been.
With love,
Gabrielle N.
